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summer night, day two

(Tuesday, August 25, 2009)

Okay, well it's not really night anymore. It's 3am-ish in the morning. I spent a big chunk of my time eating, brushing my teeth, flossing, make up removing, and disinfecting my new ear piercing. I feel like doing my nails now. I don't know. I can't sleep again. But, today was a good day. I actually woke up before 12pm in the afternoon for once, but that's only because I got a text from my baby updating me about his whereabouts in Florida. -sigh- I miss him. Anyways, I've decided to keep this blog up to date every night. Hopefully I can maintain it, but I'm not even sure if I can the next few days. Fuck my life blogspot.com, I'm getting my wisdom teeth removed tomorrow. Apparently, "surgically" removed. It sounds kind of harsh, but it's a minor surgery. Still though, fuck my life. Good thing they're putting me to sleep. Shit, I don't want to think about it. This morning after getting a text from joojoobabes, I texted Trina and asked if she was still up for getting her ears pierced. I loafted in bed for a while, then I got up and ate egg =/ That's all I ever eat nowadays, not cool. Then Trina came over, and waited for me to get ready. Dad drove us to Steph's house, only to find that Steph was still waiting in line to shower after ateh Malou. ETC. We go to square half an hour later and explored around for the best free ear piercing store. YADAYADAYADA, Trina got three pierces in total. I got the fourth free stud in my left ear for fun. Whateverrr, pain can't compare to what I'll have to face in about twelve hours from now. FML FML FML. Life sucks. Anyways, Andrew Feliciano aka kuya met up with us at Ardenes in time for me to be able to squeeze his hand before getting the gun to my ear. After studs, we went to food court and saw Monica, Lina, and Jacob. I haven't seen Lina since school. I miss her :( But I'm happy I got to see her today. We loafted there for a bit, then Trina had to leave. We saw Andrea and Andy and Kevin afterwards and we all ended up walking around together. Lina had to go with her friend somewhere though, boooo. We went shopping for a while, or window shopping...fucking broke as hell, not cool. ETC. We all decide to walk to Noodle Wok for cheap asian food. We had to climb this brick wall and climb over the fence at the top to get there. No stairs in sight. How inconvenient. It was all the way around the other side so whatever. Steph struggled the most because she's physically challenged. LOL, uhm yeah. We ate there, then walked to TNT nearby for like, dimsum? I don't remember. We loafted in grocery store some more until Andy and Kevin had to leave. We left, then loafted on the curb until Justin Carr drove by to pick up Monica, Andrea, and Jacob. So it was me, Steph, and Feliciano left. Sengbusch dropped by to loaft with us, then left when Steph's dad came to pick us up to reach their base. We chilled there until Monica, and the rest met up with us again there. We watched The Girl Next Door and all dipped at like, 12am. Yeah, that was pretty much it. Got home at like, 12:30am, checked facebook, hygiene maintenance, messaged my baby, and now blogging. I'm tired. This blog is basically just for me to remember what I do from now until school. It's gay how I begin this blogging shit two weeks before school. What the hell, right? Anyways, this concludes August 24. Wish me luck for tomorrow. I'm going to have my gums opened up and have my molars yanked out. I think they're messing with all four of them. FUCK MY LIFE HARD. I'm honestly really scared. Going through this without my number one comforter, Justin Joo aka boyfriend will be balls. NOOOOOOOOO :( Going to dream of bunnies and pink things so tomorrow will be a calmer day. Not really. But still, just whatever. Let's see how tomorrow goes. I'm going to try and update this again, but yo. FUCK MY LIFE, again. I don't know if I'll be okay enough to do so. Gahh, I miss you Justin Joo, and I love my friends. Thanks for being good to me. I'm going to sleep now. *tear* Goodnight y'all :(

Labels: boyfriend, chilling, fml, friends, piercings, surgery

extras

november262007
Justin Venturin Joo. It's honestly just been a whole roller coaster ride being with you. We're both different in every single way, we don't always get along. I don't always feel the need to baby you or treat you like a prince. I don't always show you that I'm there for you, or that I care about you. I don't always laugh at your jokes, or spoil you with materialistic gifts and go on cute dates with you. I don't always notice or appreciate the smallest, yet meaningful things that you do for me. I may not hold your hand in public, or visit you at home. I rarely get prettied up for you because I feel like I don't have to, because it's just you. I feel like I don't always need to have you wherever I go, or make at least half the effort you've put in to make this relationship work. I'm stubborn, rude, impatient, tempermental, hypocritical, aggressive; I'm everything you don't deserve. Even from the beginning, I was never the perfect girlfriend to you. If anything, I was the worst pick. I did nothing but put you through shit the past 15 months. I'm a shit girlfriend. Honestly, I'm sorry for all the times I'd yell at you for no reason. Im sorry for always putting myself before you. I'm just sorry for all the moments I put you down just so I could overdominate you. But if you look past everything, and gather up what's left of me after removing all hatred and anger and grump that I contain in me, I hope you find the little girl you once fell in love with when you asked her out. I hope you see all the love and the little effort that I never did for anybody else but you. I wish you'd see how strong these feelings were. Strong enough to penetrate through my veins and refrain myself from high blood pressure and gloom. Baby, if you only knew how great of a painkiller you are. You're the only thing that's worked on me after tylenol and my puffer. It feels like our hearts have conjoined, only I can't feel what you feel, I can't understand what you go through. But, for some reason, you can read my mind, you're slick, you see everything I see, and you feel everything I feel. I'm not the type to express my feelings through some lovey dovey poem. I can't even express it in plain english. I feel as if I'm foreign and illiterate when I try to speak a word of love and the feelings I have toward you. You know me well, but you don't know me well enough to believe that I care. I know I love you, I feel it. I know it's not stupid to say I do, even though I'm only just a kid at heart. But, no one can judge and speak for me. If this isn't love, then why am I always happy when I'm with you? Why do i feel hurt when when you disappoint me? If this isn't love, then I don't love my family. The feelings are similar, yet different. But it's love, I know it is. As long as I'm with you, I'll always believe in what we have. You help me contain this concept of love we're in into something real. As long as you hold onto me, and never give up on us, this "love" we so call feel, will become beyond love. It'll be something even more unexplainable. But it'll be that strong for us to take in, and cherish. I honestly, and deeply, love you, Justin Joo. Please know that.